He’s smarter than you, he’s got a science degree! This little animated ‘rock’ video must have taken an age to make and the lyrics are genius! Not for the ‘bible-sensitive’….

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If you are looking for a warm and fuzzy Christmas story, you better keep looking because this is not your Grandparents’ Christmas story. If your dark side is looking for a bit of a chuckle, then this story is just what you need. Without further ado, I’d like to present you with a twisted little tale called ‘Fresh Meat’. Happy Holidays folks!

Gretta stood next to a dumpster in the alleyway behind her family’s restaurant, puffing furiously on a cigarette. She fumbled with the broken zipper on her coat for a while until she finally gave up with a defeated sigh and a twinge of disgust.

That’s it. I am buying myself a new coat for Christmas. Why didn’t I throw this ratty old thing out last year like I planned? Why do I save useless crap like this? I need to just grab a few dozen trash bags and get rid of it, all of it. It’s not like I’m ever going to use old catalogs, broken cassette tapes, or a year’s supply of plastic bags. Why is it so hard to let things go?

Her feeble attempts to ward off the frigid air by clenching her coat closed with one hand were thwarted by mighty arctic blasts. No longer able to withstand the chill, Gretta dipped the half-finished cigarette into the newly fallen snow. Then she dropped the soggy butt into her coat pocket.

“Damn zipper,” she mumbled as she turned around to reach for the door.

Dieter noticed his daughter trying to shake off the bitter cold when she passed the stove to hang up her coat. “Come and have a nice bowl of soup. I made it fresh.”

Gretta sat down with her soup. Just as the spoon was about to touch the murky broth, her face soured and muscles tensed.

“Wait, how fresh?” She turned to her father.

“Oh!” Dieter grew pale for a moment while he wiped his hands on his apron. “Not that fresh…” He glanced over at a man in a tacky, red Santa sweater who’d been busy studying the menu longer than it would take Dieter to read a novel. “Just a little something I whipped up this morning.” He smiled nervously.

It was too late. She had already lost her appetite. She felt nauseated and her head was pounding. Even the soft melody of Christmas oldies playing on the jukebox were grating on her nerves. Aching to get this day over with and just jump straight into bed, Gretta glanced up at the clock. That’s when she noticed the dirty tables waiting for her.

I can’t believe that I didn’t even remember to clean up after the morning rush.

Gretta shook her head while glancing down at the barely touched mounds of food abandoned by two teenagers.

“Such a waste,” she sighed and cleared off the table.

Just like my life.

She tried to push the unsettling thought away without success.

You ruined everything! We were supposed to grow old together. You were going to toss aside fifteen years for some silly little teenage girl with bleached blond hair and bad skin. How could you do that to me? I loved you! You fu-

“Excuse me, Miss?” The raspy voice of a patron flagging her over pierced the foggy veil of her thoughts instantly, but the bitterness lingered.

Gretta forced a smile and grabbed a pen and pad from her apron. When the elderly gentleman gave her his order, she struggled to suppress the urge to giggle. The hint of a grin flashed across her face as she strolled into the kitchen.

Her panic-stricken husband made futile attempts to jerk free from his bindings when Gretta opened the freezer door. He gurgled in alarm as he eyed the knife in her hand.

“You’re an utter waste of human life, but I just can’t bring myself to throw things away, even worthless trash like you. You got off real easy last time, Franz. I mean, how many people order tongue these days?” She grabbed his crotch forcefully and met his bewildered gaze with a smirk.

“This time, it’s German sausage.”

For more twisted tales and other bizarre brain droppings you can visit the author at her blog antibarbie.net

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